All About Noah
by D0ll
Summary: Rachel was a little bit skeptical when her father first told her they set her up on a blind date. But when she sees Noah Pukerman waiting with her fathers for her downstairs, she is sure she just found her soul mate. There is just one tiny problem, Puck thinks she is a crazy midjet who is stalking him!
1. Prologue

A/N: Beta'ed by xperfectly-imperfect13_._

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

_As you can probably infer from my previous entries, I was a little bit sceptical when my fathers told me that they had set me up on a blind date._

_Apparently, they were concerned about my lack of a social life. I tried to convince them that I was way too busy to even consider a social life; between my dance rehearsals and preparing for the play that I am SUPER excited to be starring in. It finally seemed like my dream of becoming a star was being achieved, and I couldn't afford to let sex-addled fantasies come in between me and my dream. And sure, the play I'm starring in isn't exactly on Broadway (yet!) but it wasn't that far away from Broadway either._

_But I could tell my fathers were starting to become concerned about me. They kept on insisting that I needed a social life and the boy they set me up with was a very nice Jewish (which is always a plus) boy whose mother they've known for years now. After they promised me that it wasn't that horrible boy Jacob Ben Israel, who used to stalk my every move in high school, I reluctantly agreed, if only to please them._

_But Diary, something totally unexpected and surprising happened when I walked down those stairs. The person that waited for me with my fathers wasn't the hideous and grotesque boy I was expecting him to be; he was, to put it in lamest terms, hot._

_He was the image of confidence (which is a trait I really admire because I think confidence is the first step to success) in a pair of dark denim jeans and a tight black button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his forearms, showing off his lovely arms. He had a shaven head of dark hair cut into a mohawk, which isn't really my style, but it seemed to fit him. Plus with some persuading, I'm sure in the future I can convince him to get a much more sensible hair cut. He was tall but not too tall, and seeing as I am a vertically challenged person, that was a very good thing because I have no desire to look like a dwarf when we stand next to each other in the future._

_With each step I took, I grew more nervous but at the same time excited. I slowed down my pace so I wouldn't accidentally trip and fall flat on my face in front of him; what a good first impression that would make! My heart began to beat faster and faster the closer I came, and the more I noticed the attractive curvature of his nose, his soft supple (kissable) lips and his strong jaw line. But when he smirked at me and licked his lips, that's when my heart really began to race. His teeth were straight and white which showed good hygiene and you know, Diary, that that is very important to me. Plus his smile showed that he approved of my looks as well._

_When I took the final step and stood in front of him, he looked at me with the most beautiful set of hazel eyes I ever saw, and they actually seemed to sparkle. He greeted me with a casual head nod and a "'Sup?". And that was all it took-one syllable-for me to decide that Noah Puckerman would be mine one day._

_And soon, he was going to realize it too._

_-Rachel Barbra Berry_

* * *

Inspired by movies like All About Steve, What's up Doc?, and Bringing up Baby. I just thought it would be fun to play around with how Rachel was totally into with Finn on the show but reverse it to Puck and how he would handle it.

Review please because I am not sure if this any good or not or if I should continue it or not.


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N**: Beta'ed by perfectly-imperfect13_._

* * *

Today did not start off as a good day for Rachel Berry.

First of all, her alarm clock failed to wake her up this morning, causing Rachel to oversleep, which completely threw off her morning routine and made Rachel panic as soon as she read the time on her pink digital clock: Six thirty; an hour late! She might as well forget about her morning tea and breakfast!

A frazzled Rachel jogged through her small New York apartment and into her small pink bathroom. She turned her faucet on hot and jumped into her shower, when she heard her phone ring.

"Rachel? Rachel, honey? It's Dad and Daddy. Where are you?! You know we get nervous when you don't answer your phone!" Rachel groaned before she quickly turned off the faucet, grabbed a towel and sprinted into the living room to grab her phone as her Dad continued to talk on the voice mail. "Rachel?!"

"Yes Dad?" Rachel answered while she crouched down to answer her phone, not wanting to give New York City a view of her dripping wet form with nothing but a small white towel to cover her bare body. Today certainly wasn't going her way.

"Oh Rachel, darling! Daddy and I were starting to get worried." Her other father picked up the phone and asked her in a frustrated tone, "Why weren't you answering your phone?!"

"Can I call you later? I was just about to take a—"

"But Hiram and I have exciting news for you Rachel! We are sure you'll want to hear this!"

Rachel groaned into her retro pink house phone, "Is it another blind date? Because I certainly don't feel like repeating the incident last time you and Daddy set me up."

"We promise it isn't that Jacob Ben Israel boy again—"

"We've known his mother for years. He's very successful, Jewish, and cute!" Hiram said, grabbing the phone again from her other father, causing Rachel to laugh.

"Will you just think about it?" Leroy said after grabbing the phone back from her other parent.

"If I say I'll think about it, will you let me hang up?"

"Yes!" Both of her fathers said simultaneously.

"Fine, I'll think about it." Rachel said guiltily because she had no intention of going on another blind date set up by her parents, considering the last time was a disaster. She shivered as she thought about Jacob's inappropriate touching and heavy mouth breathing. But she was freezing and she needed to finish getting ready.

"Goodbye. I'll call you guys later."

After her parents both hung up, Rachel headed back into her shower. Rachel washed her body and hair, brushed her teeth, rinsed her mouth, flossed, and applied lotion and perfume; and she still had time to perfect her makeup and hair, recite her daily salutations and fix herself a wholesome, tasty and vegan breakfast.

'Maybe my day isn't going to be so bad after all,' Rachel thought as she walked down her stoop and onto the sidewalk to take the bus to work.

After all, she was having a good hair day; and positive reinforcement was truly what mattered most. That was when a city bus chose to drive through a deep brown puddle, completely drenching Rachel from head to toe in filthy rainwater, which collected in the dirty street last night.

On second thought, this wasn't a bad day. This was a _terrible _day.

* * *

"Mr. Bradberry! Rachel arrived late!" The heavy black door swung and slammed close loudly behind Rachel; as if she needed another announcement that she was indeed late to their play rehearsal, after Cassie announced her tardiness to everyone.

"Rachel?" Mr. Bradberry, the middle aged director of Rachel's first play, asked and turned around to reveal a middle aged man with black hair peppered with gray strands. He was of average height and slightly overweight. Being a stress eater, his weight seemed to rely on how well or badly his play was doing.

Behind him, Rachel could see her cast mates looking at her with a shocked expression on stage. Rachel had never been late to a rehearsal in her whole life.

Behind the director's graying head, she saw her nemesis, Cassie, laughing at her; her blonde head bobbing up and down as she cackled from getting Rachel in trouble.

Brody—Cassie's boyfriend, and also Rachel's best friend—was frowning at Cassie, his mouth moving, his hands swinging back and forth angrily, and both of them pointing at Rachel. Rachel felt guilty because she caused so much tension in their relationship, even though it wasn't on purpose. Her mere presence caused tension.

Adding to the drama and tension was the fact that Brody was Rachel's leading man; and Cassie, who was Rachel's understudy and a background character, was insanely jealous of her.

"I can explain!" Rachel said in a hurry as she walked into the theatre, approaching her director, "You see I was walking out of my apartment on time, when a bus passed by, hitting a puddle and soaking me in the dirtiest and grossest water imaginable! I simply had to go back in my apartment and rinse off; then I missed the subway—"

Mr. Bradberry rolled his light gray eyes as he raised his wrinkled hand, cutting off Rachel's speech halfway and told her to simply get on stage so they could practice properly; they were already behind schedule. Rachel felt extremely awkward as she walked onto the stage, everyone staring at her, except Cassie who positively was glaring at her, her arms crossed over her slim chest.

"Hey Rachel," Brody greeted his her his handesome face lit up with an easy-going smile and a friendly hug, making her feel much better. But that feeling was gone as soon as Rachel saw Cassie behind her, giving her the evil eye, and she quickly released Brody.

Mr. Bradberry took a seat in the empty row of chairs and ordered them to perform the first part of the play. Rachel smiled confidently and began the first line of the play. She was glad Brody somehow managed to get away from Cassie to help each other practice their lines and choreography.

"Brilliant, Rachel and Brody!" The director clapped his hand enthusiastically, smiling, "Now let's practice the first love scene." He said, folding his hands together.

"Let's do it again," Mr. Bradberry sighed deeply, one hand held his head, the other motioned carelessly for them to go ahead.

"C'mon Rach." Brody said and smiled at her warmly, trying to make her more comfortable. His muscular tan arms wrapped around her as he tried to kiss her.

Rachel once again turned away. It wasn't that Rachel _wanted _to perform so poorly; it was just terribly awkward kissing her best friend, while his girlfriend watched them closely giving her the stink eye, as she most likely imagined Rachel's head on a stick. And well. it has been awhile since Rachel has kissed anyone, who was she kidding? She was a a twenty year old theater geek who never kissed anyone, and her first kiss woul be with her best friend who although was attractive Rachel saw as a brother and while everyone watched. Not exactly how Rachel dreamed her first kiss would be. And when she stumbeled through the kiss everyone would know it was her first and give Cassie more amunition to use against her.

"That's all for today!" The director called out in frustration, his head now completely in his hands, and his back bent.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Bradberry. It's just… I—" She tried to explain as she walked off the stage to her director, she not only felt guilty that she disappointed him a man she respected and looked up to, but she also disappointed herself, adding to her distraught Rachel knew he had several plays in a row that did poorly, and was relying on this play to do well but she was ruining it for him. By first coming in late and now her poor preformance.

"Rachel," The older man said lifting his head up looking at her curiously , "When was the last time you went out on a date?"

"Pardon?" Rachel said as she wrinkled her nose.

"A date… with a boy." Mr. Bradberry clarified.

"Well, I can't recall at this present moment, but my parents have set me up on a date though I'm not sure—"

"Go for it, Rachel! This play is about love. You need to know more than your lines, dance steps and how to sing to perform on Broadway." He said in a soft tone.

Rachel was heading out of the door when she saw Brody and Cassie huddled outside together in a heated exchange across from her.

"Tell her, Brody! It's either me or _her_." Cassie said stomping her foot aganst the cement of the street coner.

"Okay Cassie, I will, you don't have to be such a bitch about it!"

"Tell me what?" Rachel said, hopping on one foot to the other anxiously. She had a feeling this wasn't going to be good. Nothing with Cassie ever was.

"I-I can't be your friend anymore." Brody said turining around to Rachel, looking apologetic and regretful as soon as he said it; his expression greatly contrasting with the blonde woman who stood possessively close to him, who smiled triumphantly.

"Oh," Rachel breathed feeling deflated and alone. Her only friend in New York, and pretty much in the world, had just dumped her.

"I'm sorry, look Rachel—"

"Come on, Brody." Cassie said, while she tugged his arm and promised that she had something special waiting for him at their apartment, as Brody tried to explain his actions to Rachel.

Rachel was happy when Cassie managed to drag Brody away from her. There was nothing to explain. Brody, her best friend since college and the person she trusted and shared everything with, including her hopes and dream, for years, just abandoned her for his evil bitchy girlfriend of a few months.

Could this day get _any_ worse?

As if the world wanted to answer the rhetorical question, her bedazzled phone began to ring. Rachel reached into her purse and saw the screen light up with her father's name.

"Yes Daddy?" Rachel said, walking to a city bench close by and sitting down on it brokenly.

"Is something wrong, darling?" Her father asked, concerned.

"No, nothing at all." Rachel assured, sniffling and wiping her wet brown eye with the palm of her hand. "I think I might be getting a cold." Rachel lied, thankful she took all those acting lessons.

"Remember to take your vitamins, darling, to keep your immune system up," Her father advised before his voice perked up curiously, "So have you thought more about the blind date?"

All these years, Rachel has single-mindedly focused on her dreams, never seriously getting involved romantically. She felt lonely in this big city, even when she had her best friend. She felt so jealous of the couples she saw walking hand-in-hand down the sidewalk; how envious she was of even Brody and Cassie's troubeled relationship because atleast they had one, and her director's words, plus she knew it would make her parents happy.

"Yes. I'll do it."

Her fathers squealed happily on the other end. Knowing she made them happy made her feel a little better, "You won't regret this. I promise you will love him!"

"Most of the girls already do." She couldn't help but hear her other father's snarky comment in the background, and asked, perplexed, what he meant by that.

"Nothing, darling. So you're still coming home for the weekend until the next practice?"

"Yes." She replied, because it's not like she had any friends in New York to miss her anyway.

"Good because your date is on Saturday." Her father immediately said, happily.

"You already said I'd be there?!"

"Umm… yes." Her father answered her, obviously not finding a better way to spin it. Rachel slapped her hand on her forehead, '_Why me?_' She thought.

As soon as Rachel reached her tiny but comfortable apartment, she headed to her room to grab her pink suitcase which she already packed earlier. She double checked it to make everything she needed was there.

Rachel was about to head out of the door, when a weird hunch made her turn back to the room, and grab the little sexy black dress she has never worn.

'It wasn't for the date,' she insisted to herself, 'What if her parents took her out to somewhere fancy to eat? She would need something nice to wear.' she thought, grabbing a pair of black heels to go with it. And just to prove her point, she grabbed a black modest sweater to wear overtop the black dress, _I__f _she choose to wear it at all.

* * *

Her flight was the last one out to Lima for the day, and by the time the plane landed, it was night. Rachel had fallen asleep on the plane ride back to her hometown in Lima, Ohio.

A middle aged stewardess, laid a thin hand on her shoulder and shook it lightly, waking Rachel up from a deep sleep. Between waking up bright and early every morning, memorizing her lines, daily practice for the play, and dance rehearsals every other day, and now this jet lag, Rachel was drained.

"Wake up, darlin'," The blonde stewardess said kindly, with a slight country twang. Rachel wiped the sleep from her eyes and was actually grateful for this break; her body needed a break from the lights, the noise and the hectic-ness of the city.

"Rachel!" Her fathers cried with excitement, letting go of their sign scrawled with her name, and a few randomly placed stars, sloppily written in permanent black marker across the cardboard.

For the first time, Rachel felt happy today as her dads engulfed her in a tight hug, each of them holding back tears. She must start coming home more.

Her fathers left her room exactly the way it was years ago when she first headed off to college. And more than that, Rachel noticed, as she walked through the house, that her pictures were hanging everywhere; her college and high school diploma, and clippings of minor roles in small productions she starred in were neatly cut and pinned to the refrigerator.

She realized how much they missed her and promised herself she would come home more for the second time that night, before crawling into her old bed. As soon as her head hit her pink pillows, she was out.

By the time Rachel woke up the next day, it was afternoon. Rachel was kind of annoyed at them, at first, for letting her sleep the day away; but she realized they probably just thought she needed some rest, and better yet "beauty sleep" for her date tonight. Tonight!

It was almost time for her date, and she hardly had more than a few measly hours to get ready before she met this man; whoever he was.

For a second time, her phone rang just as she was getting ready to shower. Rachel grabbed her cell phone on the bathroom sink, hoping it wasn't Cassie calling to gloat about Brody, or her producer, or dance instructor. Rachel was surprised when she saw whose name flashed across the screen: Brody.

"Hey Rach! Don't hang up. Just listen to me for a sec, okay?"

"You have my attention momentarily." Rachel said coldly, with forced politeness. After all, this was someone who just tossed her away for someone as awful as Cassie.

"I didn't get a chance to tell you yesterday, but I'm sorry about the whole situation. It's just Cassie. She might be a bitch, but I—"

"Love her?" Rachel said with a scoff.

"Yes! Please try to understand where I'm coming from!" Brody pleaded. Rachel knew it wasn't easy for Brody—all these weeks of rehearsals, caught in the middle of his friend and girlfriend's bickering.

"I can't understand how you can even like someone like her," Rachel replied back with bitter honesty, "But I do understand love... from what I seen on plys and movies."

"Great, and it's not that I love you any less it's just—"

"Different." Rachel couldn't help but to finish for him once again, making Brody laugh. After all these years, she really did know him well enough to complete his sentences, causing that much more tension in Cassie and Rachel's already turbulent relationship. "So is the wicked witch of the west, I mean Cassie, conveniently absent tonight?"

"Yeah, she's visiting her mom, probably to have another riveting discussion about my bank account. So I figured we could run some lines tonight, but you weren't answering your house phone, so I figured you headed back home to go on that hot date of yours tonight."

Rachel laughed at Brody's teasing remark and sat down on the lid of the toilet, "Word spreads quickly around the theatre, huh? So who told you?"

"The short version?"

"Please."

"The director told the dance instructor, who told Amy, who told Brian, who told Angela, who told Cassie, who told me."

"And that's the abridged version?" Rachel said sarcastically, "And it isn't what I would call a 'hot' date. My parents set us up. He's supposed to be a nice Jewish boy. At worst, he will drool all over me like Jacob did, and at best, I come back with a good accountant."

"Just promise me two things, okay Rach?"

"It depends on what they are."

"One, please don't wear anything that has an animal's face on it. That owl sweater of yours is like guy repellent. You know that guys like a sexy little low cut halter top and tight little-"

"Brody!" Rachel squealed blushing bright red at his words. She felt like she was back in highschool, discussing what she should wear on her first date with a friend, well she would if anyone asked her out during highschool and if she had a friend to talk to about it.

"Rachel!" Her friend teased back, "Hey, you know what you can never go wrong with? The LBD."

"LBD?" Rachel asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Little black dress." Brody clarified, "Number two: if he's anything like that creep Jacob Ben Israel, call me. Don't even worry about Cassie being there. Just call me, and I'll say my granny died, and make a road trip out to Lima myself. Shit, I think I hear Cassie coming in. Bye!"

Rachel didn't even manage to finish saying "goodbye" before the line was dead.

Forty-five minutes later, Rachel stepped out of her small bathroom. She was wrapped in her dark blue fuzzy robe with bright yellow stars scattered over it. She already finished her hair and make-up and now she only needed to get dressed. She looked waveringly down at the outfit she prepared for this so called _date_: a knit sweater, knee length skirt and flats, decidingly unsexy.

She remembered her best friend's—correction: ex best friend's—words, and looked back at her suitcase, which held her short black dress and heels. She took a step towards her pink suitcase, which lay on the other side of the room, but stopped herself mid-way.

'This is complete nonsense! A man shouldn't just appreciate me for my physical appearance, but value my intelligence; my talent!' Rachel told herself sternly, nodding her own head, as if in agreement, and stepped back to her bed, where her outfit lay.

Rachel heard a knock on the door and welcomed her father in. "Honey, your _date _is here! And he's hot!" Leroy said enthusiastically. His head popped through her doorway, grinning widely. Rachel frowned back at him.

"I hope he doesn't mean on the inside." Rachel grumbled after her father closed her door, as she slipped into her clothes, cursing her own shallowness about appearances.

Rachel stepped out of the door, walked down the hallway to the stairs, and took a deep breath before taking her first step down the stairs to meet her date.

* * *

**A/N**: Don't worry dear readers next chapter we get Puck's point of view, puckleberry action, and Rachel's obsessive crush! Tootles! Don't forget to review.


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N**: LOOKING FOR A BETA!_  
_

* * *

Today did not start off as a good day for Noah Puckerman.

First the thing in the morning his phone rings, his house phone is loud as fuck, but Puck covers his head with a pillow drowning out the noise and decides to let the voicemail pick it up. _Whoever it is can call back later._

"Noah!" Shit, only one person calls him that, "It's your mother!" Puck hops out of bed like a lightning bolt, reaching clumsily around for his phone only for the friggen thing to be knocked to the ground, Puck tries to grab the damn thing only to fall down on the hard floor.

"Fucking Christ!" Puck groans in pain, rolls over on his stomach and clicks the phone on. "Yeah, ma." Puck says and reads the time on his digital clock, 11:30 in the morning, _What the fuck, ma? You know I had a gig last night and tonight so I need my energy!_

It's the same-o same-o, when is he going to get a real job, when is he going to get married. _Well sorry mom,_ Puck thinks, _but I do have a real job and it's called rocking out! And why get married when he can tap hot groupies at every show?_ Puck doesn't have a death wish so he doesn't say as much to his mother.

"Well, I have good news, Noah! I just found you a wonderful Jewish girl for you!"

A blind date?

That his mother hooked him up with?

Puck's morning just went from crappy to sucktastic.

"Ma!" Puck tries to protest but his mother uses her no nonsense voice "I've known her fathers for years. She's a very sweet, smart, Jewish, and you're going!"

"Sorry ma, I'm not going to be in town, I have a gig... in Toronto, that's in Canada."

"No you don't! You promised me you're free this weekend to come home."

_The old guilt trip, his mom is a master at it._

"Okay, but I'm not going on no blind date."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes-"

Puck grabs a loss candy wrapper on the floor next to his trash can and starts wiggiling it into the phone," Ma... I think... it-it's breaking up.. call you back later!"

"Noah!"

He leaves the phone off the hook and his bed never felt better.

* * *

Just last night Puck's life was full of excitement and hot groupies flashing their goodies at him and his band. But today his day is full of a long ass boring car ride back home to Lima.

Going home was always a bittersweet expeirence for Puck, he missed his family and all that shit, but Lima is and will always be, a lame ass town

Throughout the twelve hours his mom is calling back to back to back. Apparently his little sister has a "boyfriend" now, well he will just have to fix that when he comes home.

It was Sam, the guitar player of his rock band Jericho, who had the bright idea to stop in the middle of the nowhere Arkansas and get some lunch when they pulled up to a little Mexican restaurant.

Puck could tell the place was seedy an there was a cockroach the size of his thumb crawling on the dusty worn floor. But Puck is hungry enough not to give a damn.

But after an hour later of being trapped in a little shit-wagon van going through the baron lands of Arizona with no rest stops in sight, packed like sardines with three other dudes who ate the same chimichangas as he did, from the same flea bag restaurant as he did and nothing but one small tiny window as the only means of ventilation. Puck wants nothing more than to be back in Lima again in his old room.

* * *

Thank God there was a rest stop as soon as they hit Kentucky and Matt, the bassist of the group knew a short cut through Kentucky so they were in Lima by night fall.

Puck was drained, literally dead tired as he treaded the his house to greeting his mom and waled to his old bedroom ready to pass out on his comfy familiar bed for a few hours or maybe a day when-.

"**_Ma_**! What the Hell happened to my room?!"

"Noah, you know how I feel about foul language in the house!" His mom said walking from the other room to scold him.

"Who the fuck is these gay lords and what are the fuck are their posters doing doing hanging up on my wall?! What the hell happened to my Led Zeppelin posters?!" Puck said tearing down the posters and searching for his old ones.

"Noah!" His mother remarked reaching down to pick up the poster and placing them where they were before, "It's some boy band 2 directions or something, your sister happens to be a very big fan."

"Great than put their posters up in her room!"

"This is her room."

"What?!" Puck shouted.

"Your sister wanted a bigger room and you were always on the road."

"Great mom." Puck said running his hand in frushration through his strip of dark brown hair, "That's just great. So my stuff is in Kaitlin's room." Puck said beginning to walk down the hallway.

"About that..." Mrs. Puckerman said following her son down the hallway. Puck opened the door to his sister's old room and turned back around to look disbelieving at his mother. "Don't look at me like that, you know how long I've been wanting somewhere to put my exersise equipment."

"Mom, where's all my stuff?!"

"I donated it to a good cause!"

"You kicked me out!"

"You never come home, Noah! Besides, you don't have any time to mope around, you have a date to get ready for!"

"Oh, Hell no! I've just played a gig last night, spent ate hours on the road, and ate bad . The only place I'm going tonight is on the couch."

"You are going Noah I already talked it over with her parents." His mother said in her "no nonsense" voice, "I'm sure you are not used to nice Jewish girls like Rachel Berry on the road with groupies throwing their underwears at you but you are going!" Mrs. Puckerman said pushing her eldest child into the bathroom.

"But ma! I'm tired!"

"Then take a cold shower to wake yourself up, I already bought and laid some clothes for _your date!_"

"Hey where is Kaitlin, that lil' munchkin can't you set her up with someone? Not me."

Mrs. Puckerman smiled "Your sister, may I inform you, is currently going on date with a very nice boy-"

"Where are they at, I'll kill him." Puck said reac hing for his shoes.

"Oh no, no no! You are not doing anything but hopping in that shower, mister! And your sister is going out with a very nice young gentleman, who is the Rabbi's son."

"I don't care who he is! He is dead when I see him!"

Finally Noah's mother managed to shove him into the bathroom and locked the door from the outside smiling triumphitaly and clasping her hands together. "Make sure to scrub behind the ears, Noah!"

* * *

Puck was practically shoved outside by his mother.

"I need the keys!" Puck shouted from the outside of the door pounding on it until his mother opened the door a crack and threw the keys at him.

"Be safe! That means no joyriding and no running into an ATM with my car again!"

"_Really_?! That was when I was 17! Way to hold a grudge, ma. And last time I checked it was my car!"

After making chunk change with his band for a year or two, his band was finally was becoming slowly successful and the first thing Puck bought with his first big gig money was his dream car. A brand new, sleek black Corvette, which wasn't the most practical decision considering he's always on the road with his band, which is why he left it with his mother. At first his mother complained about how much it must have cost, (which made no sense to Puck, its not like she paid for it) and how dangerous she hard sports cars were but Kaitlin informed him how much his mother has been secretly enjoying the car.

Puck slid into the leather of his car for the first time in a year and drummed his fingers against the wheel. He looked down and noticed a slip of paper folded into a little square sitting innocently enough on the passenger seat, the note addressed to him in his mother's handwriting. Puck sighed and leaned over to grab the lined paper and read the instructions to the house and threats if her dads, dads? _WTF?_ Mentioned to her at the synagogue if he failed to show up. Puck groaned and hit his head on the wheel.

* * *

The drive to the Berry's house wasn't that far and Puck almost missed the little white house at the corner of the sleepy street.

"Oh shit," Puck said coming to a halt and sloppily parked on the other side of the road. Puck looking at the two story house sighing, the last time his mother tried to hook him up it was with Jacob Ben Israel's sister who shared his overbite, beady eyes but with a unibrow. Puck shivered thinking about it, _Might as well get this over with now,_ he thought hopping out the car and walking up the lawn to ring on the doorbell.

"Please Lord, let her be hot, let her be hot." Puck silently prayed as he waited for someone to answer the door.

"Noah Puckerman, well I haven't seen you since you were this tall!" Mr. Berry said opening the door and patting him on the back. Puck nodded his head even though he didn't remember this dude at all.

"Rachel should be coming down any minute now. So what do you do?"

"I'm the guitar player for a band me and my bros put together, called Jericho, yeah we're kind of a big deal." Puck said after shaking the older man's hand making small as he waited for his "date" to come down.

Someone cleared their throat and Puck turned around to get his first look at his "date".

_Well, least this one doesn't have a unibrow, w_as the first thought to enter Puck's mind.

But a knit sweater, knee length skirt and plain boring flats, did his mother set him up with a nun?! But, her face was pretty cute, Puck smiled and tilted his head up "Sup?", about to introduce himself when Rachel eyes went huge and she lifted up a finger at him.

_What the fuck_? Puck thought raising his eyebrows, _what is she doing_? He wondered as he lifted up his own finger at her and nodded his head, like he knew what the hell she meant.

Puck watched as his date turned and ran back up the stairs, above him he heard a door being slammed closed behind her and her quick footsteps as she rifled through her things and he could only think.

_What the hell did mom just get me into?!_

* * *

**A/N**: Please review,

pretty please?

Next chapter is their date!


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